


Of Life & Death

by 7cinnamonroses



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Death has a little crush on Life, F/M, Finn as a lovely Muse, Gen, Hux as War, Kylo as Death, Life & Death!AU, Minor Character Death, Miscarriage, Rey as Life, Reylo if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7cinnamonroses/pseuds/7cinnamonroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has heard someone say "My job is killing me!," right? Well, his job is killing all of us!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Life & Death

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo... I did not write in a while. Where was Admiral Ackbar to warn me that growing up was a TRAP?  
> I had this idea for a bit now and since I had some time at my hands I thought I'd give it a go. There might  
> be potential for a follow-up chapter, but I'll have to see whether my muse is a busy-body or a lazy bum.
> 
> Let me know what you think?! Just... try to be gentle please? English isn't my mother-tongue and I didn't write anything but essays in a while.
> 
> Hugs & Kisses

As he stalked into the room, he sighed audibly. Well, at least it was audible to _him_. The people who were gathered around the small bed were far too focussed on the dreadful high-pitched noises emitted by a machine next to the bed. There was also the insignificant little detail about the living usually being unaware of his presence that should be taken into account.

Only a few seconds in and he already felt the beginnings of a headache. He would never get used to those loud, audacious metal cubes. They took away the dignity of people’s last moments. Obscured their final breath. Additionally, they brought in a small army of medical droids and with them those cruel, flickering glimmers of hope that seemed as precious as air to the left-behinds. Friends, family, spouses would hold on to that crumbling last chance for some miracle, when really there was only… him.

Their desperation always left a bitter taste, which was why they were yet another aspect that made his job extremely arduous. Those gasps for something, anything, to keep the warmth of hope close to their hearts in order to help them remain unbroken were futile as soon as he entered the room. When it could be helped, he’d rather not make them struggle. He had always preferred working efficiently and quick. Why waste anyone’s time? That moment he would reach out and collect a soul?! It ought to sufficiently prove to anyone that time was on no one’s side. Which was probably why mortals feared him and his own people regarded him with a weary eye.

He knew that people always jumped to the narrow-minded conclusion that he was an unpleasant fellow by nature. Such presumptions made on the mere basis of someone’s calling seemed cruelly biased to him though. He would never walk around and judge people based on their field of work! It would never even cross his mind to voice the assumption that mechanics were in general unable to articulate themselves eloquently –even though he had yet to meet someone of said profession who was a spellbinder.

So, he was the Grim Reaper, big-freaking-deal! Someone had to do it and that person just happened to be him – Kylo Ren, as he preferred to go by these days. He’d had different names over the past eons, but as a famous person he had once collected had put it; What’s in a name?

Freeing the soul from its body’s suffocating weight, he tried –very hard– to ignore the short heartbeats of silence before the room would eventually erupt in a wild mix of sobbing, stunned emptiness and maybe loud lamentations. To be honest? That short, doomed-to-end moment of silence was the part he disliked the most. Not that he minded silence! When you were passing wailing wrecks all day, you can’t help but acquire a strong partiality for calm moments. However: Those moments weren’t calm. They were a storm in the making, the second before the sky exploded with roaring thunder while veins of lightning bled through the stormy heavens. By now, he felt it in his bones and perceived the reactions; the amount of noise that would follow the silence.

Force, the noise…

The moment he sent the recently departed securely on their way, he exited the room, heavy steps echoing from the walls of the hall. For once, he seemed to have a few minutes to himself. It didn’t happen often –particularly not these days!– but he revelled in them. He had others under his command, which was why he didn’t have to rush about. His Knights of Ren were just as capable of securing a soul’s passage to the afterlife as him. Seriously, he wouldn’t know how he’d be able to cover the workload without them.

Turning a corner, he was greeted by the sight of a group of beings. A tiny Twi’lek with green skin sat on a bed, while two other beings –probably her parents– were listening intently to a medical droid which was in the process of explaining one thing or the other to them. The fragile looking tiny one was happily sketching away on a datapad while next to her sat…

“No way… Come on man, not cool! Tell me you’re not here to get her.” the familiar muse he knew to go by the name of Finn challenged. “You can’t! We have things to accomplish, her and I.” His dark, warm eyes glared at him before Kylo raised his hand in an appeasing gesture.

“Don’t agitate yourself. I am in the process of leaving.” he responded a bit stiffly. He may not consider himself an unpleasant fellow by nature, but that did not mean that he was a people person! Kylo was very peculiar about the people he decided to shower with affection… or suffered their company willingly for that matter. Finn was one of the few people he didn’t outright dislike. Not that this would’ve changed anything. If the girl’s time had come, he would’ve seized her and no bickering from a spirit of inspiration could’ve stopped him. Though, he really didn’t enjoy the fact that he had had to gather up this many children over the past years. But he was trying really hard to be as gentle as possible with them. However, this still brought him into conflict with several of his more valued acquaintances.

Destiny was a strict mistress though, and well, he had to obey the rules, whether he liked it or not. Why did people have such a hard time getting to grips with that? He did not like to have discussions with every immortal being around him. It wasn’t like he enjoyed reaping other people’s hard work! Yet, again and again, he would find himself in the middle of very awkward situations with one of the few people he occasionally enjoyed to interact with. He sighed again, being reminded of the last time such a situation had taken place and before any further discussion might take place, he made to move past the muse and his newest benefactor.

Finn, however, seemed to be in the mood to chat now that he had been appeased. The man wasn’t too bad, save for one unnerving habit of his.

“Soooo… Long day?!” he inquired in a casual tone that didn’t give away whether he cared for an honest answer or just asked because out of courtesy.

Kylo made a face and was very glad for the mask he wore. He’d really rather not stay and talk –he despised small-talk!– but now he couldn’t leave without appearing to be rude. What if Finn were to run around and tell people about some perceived rudeness? Kylo’s stomach did a nervous twist upon that thought and he forced himself to stopped by the bed, towering over Finn like a dark bird of prey.

“Work is work… But War is proving too much of a workaholic.”

There was something in the muse’s eyes. Something akin to pity and that did not sit well with Kylo. He cleared his throat and changed the subject before he might become thoroughly displeased. Did he look like someone who needed anyone’s pity?!

“So… how is Life?”

The muse grinned.

“Mine or the person?”

The dark clad man rolled his eyes. Wasn’t he a funny one?!

“Both, I guess…”

“Doing good so far… You know… people are having really bleak streaks of inspiration right now. Bit depressing. But I suppose I don’t have to tell you about that, right?” the muse jested and gave him a friendly smack on the shoulder… before his eyes went wide and he lifted both hands. “Sorry… I… Uhm…”

“And the person…?” he responded, wanting to get this weirdness over with. Ever since the war started, this one here and a few others had started to act even more peculiar than usual. This whole spiel where he was caught in the middle of exchanging pleasantries? Completely new ground for him! It may not have been unpleasant up until now, but still, it unnerved him. Kylo was far too used to be avoided to be… chatty! The word itself was disgusting!

_Chatty!_

Ugh! Sounded like something that’d throw people in his way.

“Keeping busy, loving life… no offense! I mean, it isn’t like she hates you or something…”

Kylo balled his large hands into fists and stiffened, offense very much taken. This was why he disliked most immortal spirits, really. To most of them, there were so many humans that it was barely evident to them when one of them ceased to exist. To them life and death seemed to be an after-thought, nothing that actively concerned them. Their carefree demeanour often aggravated him and caused him to lash out at those who weren’t deserving of his wrath. What did those arrogant little shits know about Life and Death? Of course Life would be appreciative about every living thing. _She_ worked hard to keep the balance in a universe that was torn apart by instability and war. Even though they worked in the most opposite positions possible, he could still tell that she was doing a marvellous job. Knowing about the toll the last couple of years had taken on her, he made an effort to comment on her good work when he passed her, having nothing but respect for the beauty that was Life. And wasn’t she just a ray of light when she got to be the bringer of life? That smile on her face, when she was able to deliver a healthy, happy baby into the arms of a mother. It was a thing to behold and he may have faltered in the process of his work to bow to her in respect. So his heart had warmed when she had smiled and waved at him on such occasions, what of it? He wasn’t made of stone, no matter how hard people wanted to believe otherwise…

“So… Listen… I am a bit busy here, but… can I ask you for a favour?” Finn asked. Kylo immediately straightened his back so that every muscle was strung tightly. He had a bad feeling about this. Usually it didn’t end well when people asked him for a favour…

“I am not able to grant someone more time to finish some musical masterpiece.” He warned and Finn grinned.

“Nah, this has nothing to do with that… well, kinda. I just… you know Life. And I know, I know, you can’t do anything about it, but… could you maybe not take any more lives while she is still in the room? Last time really did something to her and–”

The muse’s words had the other man’s blood boil.

“I just told you… I can’t!” The words were pressed out of his mouth, heated up by fury and shame.

Stupid muse! What was he supposed to do? He was Death! Every living being was destined to die one day; that was the way of things. It hadn’t been him to set the rules, he just brought them into action. This is why muses weren’t of consequence! They got to sit on a high pedestal and judge the people who actually had a significant field of work. Without another word, he stalked off. Something inside of him pressed against his rips in a blind rage and before he knew what he was doing, he had sunk his fist into a brick wall, feeling no pain. He felt the stone give way upon the impact, felt the bricks crumple. But he pulled back an uninjured hand.

Damn that waste of space, why did he have to bring that up?

He liked Life… or Rey as she called herself. She was most certainly in a very special category among those he deemed worthy of his notice. She was diligent, kind, warm and… well, it certainly didn’t hurt that she had the form of a beautiful young woman with the prettiest set of hazel eyes he had ever been lucky enough to behold. So it made his line of work much harder, when he had to undo her work in front of said pretty eyes. They affected him greatly when they looked sad. Another thing he held her in high regard for, was the fact that she had not held his work against him for a very long time now. She seemed to understand that he took no pleasure when he was forced to claim something she had been working hard on.

But sometimes… especially last time… she had been heart broken. It gave him no joy when he saw her like this and part of him would’ve rather had her furious with him, like in her early years. Back then she had fought him –still did so today. But back then she had fought him as her enemy. Nowadays, she didn’t take it personally anymore… Kylo figured that she had come to understand that there was no point in doing so. Both of them served a purpose, didn’t they? Keeping the balance… And wasn’t Death ultimately serving Life? All sorts of beings had discussed this in length. No Life without Death. No Light without Shadow.

Mortals and their philosophy, always up for a surprise…

But incidents like last time weren’t his favourite past-time either. It was never personal and he hoped Life understood that. It was truly professional and he had had no way out.

The woman hadn’t been strong to begin with and the wound in her chest and the malnutrition hadn’t helped. Poor, poor Life! She had been so exhausted. The dark rings under her eyes and her pale complexion had told Kylo stories of long days and complicated births. It wasn’t her fault. Many unhappy coincidences had let them both into the same room in an almost collapsed medical centre, somewhere far too close to bombs and two fighting camps of soldiers. The weakened woman hadn’t even had the strength to whimper anymore when he entered the small room. A big hole in the wall serving as a window. It had been a cold night. Rey had been holding one hand over the swollen womb to protect the light of the tiny infant inside, while frantically attempting to awaken some sort of fight in the mother-to-be.

When he had stepped closer, the hazel eyes had met his for an instant and she had nodded briefly in greeting. It had taken a painfully long moment for her to understand that he wasn’t just there because he had passed by the room after guiding someone into the after-life. Then realization had hit her with all its ferocious truth.

“No… Kylo, plea–” she had begged, but it was too late. Silently he had brushed forward to come and stand on the opposite side of the bed.

“She is too weak, Rey.”

“No!... Just give me a moment, please, I can…” she had pressed her hand onto the woman’s forehead, her thumb frantically stroking over hair and sweaty skin. “I-I I’ve got it, really! You’ll see!”

Kylo had stared sadly at her for a moment. She had looked so young at that moment, though somehow every passing second seemed to age her. How badly he had wanted the woman to stir, to find some last remnant of strength. He really, really had wanted to tell Rey that she could relax now. That it would be alright. That he had no point in being here. But it was not to be.

“Nonono…” he had heard her whisper. “Think of your baby… Your beautiful, beautiful boy… You couldn’t wait to meet him, remember?! Please…” here she had glanced up at Kylo, her eyes shining with tears, trying to convince him to change his mind. “Leave her be, she couldn’t wait… She made him a blanket and such wonderful plans about telling him beautiful stories under the tree in their garden!”

Enough now, he had decided then. She had been prolonging this, which had neither been doing her nor the suffering woman any good. He had straightened, knowing what to do. Removing his mask and setting it on the bed next to him, he had reached out to gently cup her cheek, causing her eyes to snap towards his own. Her movements had stopped as she had gaped at his naked face. Holding her gaze, he had taken hold of the woman and Rey whimpered softly, causing him to caress her cheek with his thumb, mirroring the gesture she had performed only seconds ago.

“I hate wars…” she had told him, her voice in tremors and he once again had wished he didn’t have to do this. He had wanted to apologize, tell her that he did not embrace the concept of ripping young beings out of her caring grasp. But he hadn’t done that. It would have led him down a road that spelled doom.

“I’ll make sure to let him know.” he had said instead and gathered the soul up into his arms. Rey’s eyes had lingered sadly on it and asked him to take special care with it. That the woman had always been a bit timid, but had been exceedingly happy… Still, he did withstand the urge to tell her how sorry he was.

“A-are you… Is the baby…?” she had asked, her hand still resting on the womb as a nurse and a doctor who had rushed in moved the woman’s former body. Only then had Kylo taken notice of the two older women who had been sitting with the now deceased. They were screaming, begging and crying.

“…I shall be back within the hour.” he had told her, forcing his voice into sounding passive, but turning away as quick as possible so he had not been forced to see the sad expression on her face. When he had been back for the little baby, he found her curled around the boy.

“Look how tiny he is.” she had said softly, as if her voice might disturb the little one’s peaceful sleep. One of her fingers had been caressing the new-born’s fragile fist. “Can you imagine what a pretty, chubby baby he might have been?”

“I’ll be very careful with him, promise.” he had murmured, adopting her volume of speech and feeling silly.

“I tried so hard, little one…” she had whispered before pressing a warming kiss on the baby’s brow. Kylo had been sure that she had not intended for him to hear it, so he had forced the words he had wished to say back down.

“His mother won’t have to wait for him no more now.” he had said in an attempt to cheer her up. Kylo disliked seeing her like this. Rey was a fighter, stubborn and unyielding until the very end. There just were some things you couldn’t fight and –recently– more often than not, he was that very thing.

“Will you make sure he’ll be with her?” she had asked, her eyes pleading with him for that little extra effort he usually took with children. He gathered the soft and light soul up into his arms. It stirred and he shifted it slightly so it rested more comfortably, half hidden by his heavy coat.

“You have my word, Rey.”

“Thank you…”

He had turned away, retrieving his mask from the bed.

“Oh and Death?!” she had called, using titles now.

“Yes, Life?”

“Tell War to get laid or something…” she had hissed and he had not been able to hold back a chuckle.


End file.
